Tuesday, 27 January 2015

Is being a mum a job? Stop judging the Stay at Home Mum

So my husband says some provoking things sometimes. I think its something many men do, opening their mouths before thinking. This is the latest one that really got me thinking about the perception of Stay at Home Mums (SAHM). The conversation went like so:

(husband is rocking our baby who just won't sleep)
him: this is so hard
me: yep! well, now you know what it is like for me, all day every day!
him: yeah, but it's your job.

So this conversation left me a little annoyed. That said, he didn't mean to offend and is a great dad! But it made me think about how hard this job is and why it is a 'job' that is it belittled by so many.

A few days before this conversation, I saw a segment on one of those terrible morning shows (which I'm sad to say I now watch) which questioned whether being a full time mum is a 'job'. One (ignorant) English woman, lets just call her Katie, said 'No, otherwise it would be paid. Being a stay at home mum is not a job'. Well, I beg to differ! It's the hardest and lowest paid job ever.

Because we do it all day, in the evening and the weekend, does that mean it's not a job? If we are able to afford to pay someone to look after our children, that is a job but not our job. Can we then go off and do a 'real' job so that people consider we are now doing real work? Then, inevitably, someone else will tell us we are bad mums because we have put our baby in childcare and its our job to look after them. Did this woman put her baby at only a few week old in childcare and go back to work because being a mum wasn't 'real work'? Did she think it was beneath her? Did she even have kids of her own?

A week or so later, I saw this same woman make a statement that she would never send her kids to public schools (as we call them in Australia), because she would have to see SAHMs drop their kids off at school and may have to consort with a 'lower class of people' (her words).

Being able to afford hundreds of thousands of dollars to send her children to private school does not make her a better class of person, it just means she has more dollars than sense. Private schools have their merits, but the risk of seeing a tired SAHM at public school is not one of them! A stay at home mum who wants to be there for her children is not a lesser person. How is being a 'social commentator' who earns a living judging others a 'better class' of person than a nurse or teacher? or police officer or social workers? I don't know about you, but no teachers or nurses I know can afford to send their children to private school.

I feel like being a mum is the hardest job I've ever had, and it doesn't stop at the end of the day, I can't just clock off. But it is the best job I've ever had! Congratulations to all the stay at home mums and the working mums, you are all doing such a great job and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

10 comments:

  1. Definitely the hardest job I've ever done and quite often the most thankless

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    1. I absolutely agree! Our babies will thank you when they are older and have their own babies :) I now understand what my mother went through!

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  2. Being a mama is definitely a job! I remember this joke where dad comes home after a day at work to total chaos: The door is wide open, the kids covered in dirt, throwing flour on the floor, there is food everywhere, dishes all over the place, toys across the house, an entire roll of toilet paper stuffed into the toilet - you get the picture. Dad is flabbergasted and runs through the house, calling for his wife, convinced that something terrible must have happened to her. He finds her in the bedroom, reading a magazine and eating chocolate, calm as can be. "What happened here?" he asks her incredulously. She replies: "You asked me yesterday what I do all day. Today I didn't do it."
    Thanks for linking up!

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    1. Haha yep, sometimes I wonder if that is what everyone who isn't a mum thinks we do all day. Its a hard thankless job sometimes and is only made all the more difficult when we are constantly judged and put down by some members of society. Thanks for reading!

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  3. I have NEVER worked as hard in my life at anything, like I have since becoming a mother. It's relentless!

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    1. no, never stops! I'm lucky my hubby reads bub her bedtime story each night. Its my little break when I get to blog :)

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  4. I can't stand Katie! Shes so annoying and so full of crap. Being a mum is definitely the hardest, most demanding, most rewarding job ever. The sleep deprivation and not being able to clock off gets to me sometimes, but the cuddles make up for it.

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    1. I'm not sure I've heard the woman say anything thoughtful or intelligent as yet! Cuddles are definitely a good reward, so are the smiles!

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  5. Being a mum is the hardest job I've ever had. I've never been so exhausted, both physically and mentally, in my entire life. One reason I love blogging is it brings us together like this - we are not alone. We are not worthless, even if we sometimes feel like it while performing a thankless job. We are doing something amazing with our time. :) #aussieparentingbloggers

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    1. I really enjoy connecting with other mothers too and reading about their experiences. Motherhood is one great binding force we all have in common! I envy the mums who have easy to handle bubs, it's hard but its worth it! I think whether we chose to work or stay home, we will always cop unfair criticism, its a good thing we can support each other.

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