Sunday, 17 May 2015
When are you ready for a second baby? or third? or fourth?
My question is, when are you ready?
I know a few women who have bubs the same age as mine and are more than a few weeks pregnant. I find myself just a little jealous that they get to experience the whole pregnancy and new baby again. Not the morning sickness, lack of energy, sleepless nights and all that... but the little kicks in your tummy, the knowledge you are growing this amazing little person, cuddling that squishy newborn, holding a delicate little human in your arms... oh I loved it so much!
I love being a mum! Love it! Every day when my little koala learns something new I think, 'She's learnt this now, I'd love to do this again' (this week she found her tongue. Now its always sticking out.. so cute!). Every time a pregnant friend posts an ultrasound picture I remember how exciting it was, every time I look at my baby I imagine how great it would be for her to have a sibling. There is so much to consider though!
Firstly, love, where do you find the same amount of love for a second baby? I get insanely guilty that I'm even thinking about having another baby, like I would be taking something away from my koala. I worry that I wont be able to give her enough attention and wonder how I can love any other person as much as I love her. Does that sound crazy? Surely I'm not the only one that wonders how you could have any love left after the crazy amount you have for your first baby! I'm told a mothers love is infinite and you just seem to produce even more love for the second one. But do you?
Secondly, there's timing! Do I have them close together or far apart? I know people with small age gaps between their babies (not much more than a year) and those with five years or so! What is best? Do I wait until after the second to return to work, or do I get back into my career and then take another year out to look after a new bub in a few years?
Then, how many kids do I want and what about that horrible biological clock! Will I want more than two? Then I can't leave it too long or I'll get be too old for a third. I'm certainly not an older mother but I'm not twenty either! Twenty-something for your first, early 30's for your second, if you do want a third are you going to have the energy in your late 30's? Well, probably, I know lots of fantastic mums in their late 30's... and technology these days and everyone living longer, I suppose this one isn't such a problem unless I listen to my father-in-law and have five!
Finally, there's the financials! Do we need a bigger car? House? If its a boy we would have to buy 'boy stuff'. I wouldn't be working for another long period. Would be manage?
When was the right time for you to start trying for your second, or third or fourth baby?
Until we decide on when, I'm just going to reminisce about how beautiful my little newborn was, she certainly inst a newborn anymore, but is getting more beautiful every day!
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