The wonderful Kylie is the face behind Kidgredients an has kindly volunteered to guest post this week! She's decided to prepare me for the impending doom of toddlerhood as my baby grows by telling me about the disasters kids can get into with food. For those who haven't read her blog before, where have you been? Kylie is the mother of two little people and blogs about family-friendly, kid-friendly and budget-friendly food while fun and humour. She's one of my favourite bloggers. Her page is packed full of yummy recipes and great ideas. If you want to read more of her writing, you can find her blogging at Kidgredients or on her Facebook page!
Has it all together when it comes to food, right? Ha! This couldn’t be further than the truth.
Imagine the scene: dinner, everyone sitting up. Miss 4 who was three at the time takes one look at her bowl and says “no”. I ask…”why?”. Answer “It looks like goblin poo”. Seriously??? “Taste it, please it’s delicious”. Brings spoon to her mouth, eyes screwed up, face in a grimace….pokes out the tongue and licks the end of the spoon “Mummy…it looks like goblin poo…but it tastes worse than goblin poo”. Yep, see, even food bloggers cop attitude from the kiddies when it comes to food.
Now food has gotten me into some sticky situations. Like last year, three weeks before Christmas (and before I got the Santa photo done) my daughter tried a muffin. It was apparently vile and therefore she dived across the lounge room sliding on a poorly positioned ballet shoe and careening into the buffet with her forehead whilst attempting to get to the kitchen bin. What ensued was an avocado (trust me) on her head...within seconds. Then the hunt for an ice pack…because we’d been just that morning for our six weekly meat shop at the wholesaler…I’d taken all the icepacks out to fit in the steak (priorities). I don’t think at emergency they’d ever seen anyone presenting with 6 frozen rashers of bacon as their ice pack before.
But we are no strangers to Emergency. Let me show you something. This is safe pasta.
This is unsafe pasta.
Here they are together for size comparison.
Let’s go back to the unsafe pasta.
5 of those up nostrils.
It was Master 2. The doctor wasn’t amused and nor was I after 5 hours in paediatric emergency. I did question why kids are given orifices prior to an age where they can appropriately utilise them. The doctor was still not amused.
For future reference: pepper under the nose is the best method for getting it out. Otherwise you are best sticking with these types of pasta: Maccheroni, conchiglioni, spaghettoni. The oni bit means "safe for 2 year olds". Actually it is a suffix added to words in Italian to show they are big things...but the first explanation works best for me.
Having had a relatively compliant, calm and unadventurous first child, Master 2 has never ceased to cause me worries and stress. But I’ve learnt to be calm in the face of adversity and deal with most things thrown at me with a serve of reverse psychology and good humour. So much so that I’ve almost become relaxed about the strange things he will attempt to eat. Like a few weeks back when he tried to eat a stick “don’t eat that we’re having dinner soon” was what passed my lips. I think I was more worried about him ruining his appetite than the potential dangers of eating the stick.
Whilst we were staying on Maui, Hawaii last year we discovered Master 2 had a food allergy. Maui is the pineapple isle…so guess what Master 2 was allergic to…yep pineapple. Yep. We discovered it in the one place in the world where basically everything is pineapple.
Then there is cooking with kids. Miss 4 and I love to make flatbreads. She rolls them out. It was all good until one night she made this corker:
I’ll leave your dirty mind to deal with that!
Actually- it’s a rocket ship she made especially for her brother.
Hope you enjoyed Kidgredients' guest post as much as I did!
The Ultimate Rabbit Hole