Wednesday, 28 October 2015

Learning Curves : Wise words for new parents

My little koala has just hit the big ONE YEAR and I've learnt so much in the past year. About motherhood, life and myself.

I remember sitting in the hospital when she was only hours old thinking "you're finally here, but what the f*** do we do now!" Those first hours and days with a newborn you are in shock. You have created this most beautiful precious creature and your job now is to make sure they are always ok.

You can read all the books, be members in every forum and talk to all the mothers but nothing ever really prepares you for the reality of parenthood. For me the love was instantaneous, I bonded immediately with my little koala and every day I loved her even more. I know this isn't the case for everyone (something I didn't really know until I was pregnant).

In the first few months you may not get much sleep. You'll get frustrated. You'll try to follow all the advice and feel like a failure if it doesn't work. You'll struggle to get out of the house some days, or even out of your pajamas.

When you look back on these days when your child turns one, when they turn 2... or 30... you'll think 'why did I stress so much?' You wont remember the hard times as much as you'll remember the joy and the way you looked at their little hands and wonder how you could create something so precious.

You'll wonder why you listened to all those things people told you that you should be doing instead of listening to your own instincts. Why did you let it bother you? Remember you are your baby's mother and you will always know them better than anyone else. Why did you stress that you fed your 3 month old baby to sleep?  It wont be that way forever so why not enjoy those cuddles while you have them, because one day they might not want your cuddles. Why were you worried they weren't waving/talking/walking/crawling/sitting up (insert any development milestone) yet? Enjoy the time they are a baby because it doesn't last long and before you know it they've grown and you'll miss that 'babyness'.

My biggest lesson though, is the infinity of love. There is the love I have for my husband, romantic love.. but then this love for my baby is just beyond explanation. Its the kind of love that doesn't falter, that can not be broken.. sure 'like' may not be there when she's screaming at 3am in the morning for two hours, but the love remains. It always remains.

So my wise words for parents of newborns, the first few months are hard and I'd love to say it gets easier but it doesn't. The things that were hard to begin with do get easier, but there will be new challenges that come. So no, it doesn't get easier but you do get better at being a parent. You will learn how to manage being a mummy or a daddy, you will learn how to help them sleep, you will learn what their cries mean, you'll learn how to cope with new behaviours or who to turn to when you aren't.

It wont get easier but you will get better at it.


xo

Linking with:
Mama Mim
Ultimate Rabbit Hole

19 comments:

  1. This is a wonderful post Lu! I know exactly how you feel. My second son Cooper just turned 1 so our little ones are the same age. My biggest surprise was the love also. Amazing, never ending, always strong and forever. Great post :) Maria x

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    1. aww happy birthday to your little boy too! Hard to believe they are toddlers now isn't it! thanks so much for your kind words :) xo

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  2. Awwww, the first few months are hard but you still miss them when they are gone, I hope I will remember that this second time around and just enjoy them while they last. #parentingpicks

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    1. I definitely miss those newborn days, not that I don't love the stage she's in now, I just wish I'd taken the time to enjoy it more. I definitely will the next time round!

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  3. It certainly changes over time doesn't it! Newborns cry a lot and wake through the night, but they don't have opinions and temper tantrums like 2 year olds do! And in 10 weeks im going to have one of each!!

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    1. Good luck with you new arrival!!! I'll watch your blog for the news! I'm sure you'll take the time to enjoy that newborn phase and appreciate it just a little more with your toddler running around :)

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  4. Beautiful piece. My little one turned one a couple of months ago and I can't believe how fast that first year flew!

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    1. thanks so much :) That first year does go so fast doesn't it!

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  5. Lovely post Lu, and you're right, it doesn't get easier! But you do get better at coping with all of the competing priorities you have to deal with.

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    1. thanks :) Your multitasking skills definitely improve as they get older and you learn about your child's personality more and how to work with them, so it is really about coping better isn't it.

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  6. Oh I totally agree, it does not get easier at all. I actually think it gets harder in a way!

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    1. I think you're right, you have all these new challenge to work out as they age.

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  7. What a lovely post! I haven't got kids but I think parenting is one huge learning curve and the learning never stops! Thanks for linking up with the Ultimate Rabbit Hole.

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    1. it is such a big learning curve, but its so worth it! Thanks for reading :)

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  8. A heart warming post that all new parents would benefit by and feel like they are not alone. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and yes 'love will see you through it'. Beautiful blog.

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    1. thanks so much for your kind words :) Love will see you through the tough times wont it, kids are hard work and it can have its dark times but they give you so much in return too. I am so lucky to have my little person!

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  9. You're right, why does it matter if you have to feed your bub to sleep when they're tiny? It won't be like that forever, so make the most of it and enjoy the moments :)

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  10. So true Lu, the love is a very different, all consuming love isn't it?

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  11. What a brilliant post and what wise words! I couldn't agree more - and particularly with trusting you mummy gut instinct - it takes a while to be confident enough to but it's your most trusted possession :) thanks so much for linking up to #ParentingPicks

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