Thursday, 15 October 2015

Thank you for being an a**!

I'm sure many of you have noticed that those old fashion values. Men opening doors for women, people giving up their seats on the bus for pregnant ladies.. these are all but a thing of the past. Some thanks to modern values of feminism, some because our busy lives detract us but sometimes, do you just wonder if people are getting ruder?

I was in the post office a few days ago picking up a package. Quite a large package. There was a rather long line that went across the doorway, although people had left a gap for the door to open and close as it was a pull/push style door.

I collected my large parcel and balanced my wallet on top and a registered letter I had also picked up. As I walked towards to door I realised it would be difficult to open the door with full hands. There were men on either side of the door and I thought maybe one of these gentlemen would be so kind as to open the door for me. Nope. They just stood there and watched as I fumbled trying to open the door. They also just stood there and watched as I dropped everything on the floor. Frustrated I tried to gather the contents of my purse which was now scattered across the ground. Yet, the men just stood and watched. A woman coming towards the post office from the outside, however, with two very small children in tow saw the disaster and rushed up to give me a hand.

I was very thankful that this women, already with her own hands full would rush to help. Yet I was flabbergasted that the two young, able bodied men just stood and watched a small woman struggle and not offer any assistance.

Where has common courtesy gone these days?

This gave me flashbacks to when I was pregnant. No one ever opened a door for me, moved out of my way, offered me a seat on public transport. I remember one man with a shopping trolley in a local shopping centre barrel towards me, staring me down until I moved out of his way almost falling over in the process as I tried to shift my weighted tummy to the side. He had no intention of moving for a heavily pregnant lady. Granted, I was small, but at 8 months it was very obvious I was very pregnant.

We see so often on the news these days of bad behavior towards people with a disability, racial abuse on public transport and so on. Every time I go to the shops I see able bodied people parked in disabled parking spaces or those reserved for the elderly or people with prams, when clearly they are none of these things. Some will even have the nerve to pull into the disabled or pram spot next to me while I'm hauling my pram out of the boot. Jump out of there cars, no pram, no baby, no hint of children appearing in their cars. Take a look at me and stride off into the shopping centre. We all know that these parking spots are a privilege not a right for parents. I don't think anyone would mind if these spots were used by elderly, disable, heavily pregnant people or those who in some other way need access to easier parking... but it doesn't stop me from getting a little annoyed when it's obviously just someone being lazy and discourteous.

Am I the only one annoyed with these action? Does anyone else wonder where old fashion courtesy has gone?

Lets all try and be a bit kinder and more considerate this week!

On my to-do list - help a stranger. Sometimes the smallest acts make all the different!

xo

Linking with:
Ultimate Rabbit Hole
With Some Grace

38 comments:

  1. Great piece Lu. I have to say I despair along with you... it seems like there's so much nastiness these days, or people just out for themselves. One thing I also despair of is those who are unwilling to speak up for others. I had an incident today where I stood up for a check-out girl when a customer was berating her for not saying 'thank you' to him appropriately. I basically just told him he was being a bit rude but his reaction was to turn on me and abuse me, then he waited for me outside the supermarket and continued screaming abuse at me - and I had my baby with me! It was scary. And not one person stepped in to help diffuse the situation. Funny old world we live in...

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    1. Oh no! That's dreadful :( I cant believe how no one stands up for anyone any more, especially when someone is being picked on in such a nasty way. Sorry you had to go through that! xo

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  2. That's not a nice story though an unfortunately common one. My husband is very much a gentleman, though he hesitates at times, due to being told off on many occasions by women who didn't appreciate a man holding the door open for them. Our world is a little crazy. Visiting via FYBF xx

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    1. Aww your poor hubby :( I am perfectly capable of opening my own door, but I just think its polite to offer sometimes.

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  3. As a woman, I am pretty capable of opening a door. I don't think twice if a man doesn't leap ahead to do it for me. I open doors for my husband and he does for me. I think it's common courtesy. Not opening doors for people who are struggling with heavy items isn't the fault of feminism though- it's just a lack of common courtesy. I have been in the very situation, I just said, loudly "Excuse me, could you open the door for me please?" and they did. The added bonus was that they were red-faced at having to be asked! :)

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    1. I open doors for my hubby too, although I don't mind if someone opens a door for me. I don't see it as a man v. man thing, I just see it as polite. I am not bold enough to stand up to the rude people that didn't help me! I wish I was half as bold as you are :)

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  4. I think it's so disappointing they didn't help you. I think I would have been furious and yelled out to them, asking them for help. Common courtesy has very much disappeared, I also think that part of it has to do with people feeling as though the world owes them something, like 'well no one does it for me, so why should I do it for them. I don't think opening doors, standing up etc has anything to do with feministic views and chivalry, I think it's just kind and polite, I'd open a door for a man too because it's nice and I like to be a friendly person.

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    1. I agree! Politeness has nothing to do with feminism.. it has to do with manners! common courtesy is sadly disappearing, I think we all need to give out more in a positive and surely the world will give back.

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  5. Whether it's male or female, older or younger, I always try to be polite and kind to others and like the same to be shown to me. I live in the country though, and I swear, people really are generally more polite here. Today a man said: 'Pardon me M'aam', when he almost bumped into me; Another held a door open for me. And it's not just a man thing, people regularly let me go before them at the supermarket if I just have one or two items and they have a large trolley (and vice versa). People at work will anonymously leave chocolates or lollies on my desk. I've had someone knock at my door and open it to find flowers left there, anonymously. (And yes, I'm single - no way I have a secret admirer or partner who is doing it). It's not all love hearts and lollipops, and you get people calling you 'love' and 'darling' too ... but mostly it's nice and I always get a bit of a shock when I'm back in the city and people start pushing in or grabbing parking spaces etc. Maybe it's that we are not anonymous here. People generally know each other so they are less likely to be rude than they are to people who don't know them? Or is it old-fashioned values? I don't know. There's a lot I miss about the city, but I do like the way people treat each other here.

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    1. Awww how lovely!!! I wish someone would randomly leave me flowers, that's so nice. It must make you feel valued as well. I wish the whole world had those values!

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  6. I was in Sydney this week and I was blown away by how self-absorbed most people are on public transport and in crowded places. I really wish common courtesy was back in style...

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    1. definitely! I know people like to keep to themselves in big cities, but they can still help each other out surely.

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  7. I agree that common courtesy and respect has gone out the window but I don't blame feminism for it. Like Amy said above, I open doors for others and have had others (men and women) open it for me. But I think these days, most people are too entitled and too busy stuck in their phones/iPods or whatever else it is to offer help or support to people in need. Having said that, I have had sales guys at stores offer to carry 2 bags of pet food to my car for me ever so often.

    On the whole, we all need to learn to be kinder and nicer to others...it's basic manners.

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    1. gosh haven't phones killed so much in modern society! Its like people don't realise there's a world outside of these little social media bubble. We definitely need to be kinder to each other. You get back what you put out, right?!

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  8. Yes! I agree. Such a lack of just politeness. I had the same issue when pregnant too - standing up on trains when I was so pregnant I was about to explode! I actually fainted on the subway in New York once when I was pregnant - managed to get out of the carriage and onto the platform then fainted. Do you think a SINGLE person stopped to see if I was ok? Argh.

    It makes it hard for me to feel anything for strangers in return! I do, however, always make a huge effort to help other parents and elderly in particular. My parents taught me manners, after all!

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    1. Oh you poor thing!! I would have helped you!

      It is hard to do things for others when you feel like no one else will return the favour, but I suppose a little effort goes a long way. I always try to help out elderly people or parents struggling with groceries or something too. It is all about manners :)

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  9. Now that is just rude. Feminism or not, when we see others in trouble, if we can help, then we should. Boooo human race, sometimes. On a plus side, how fabulous is it when you see something amazing? I was grocery shopping the other morning, and saw a mum struggling with her toddler, whilst trying to put her groceries out for cashier. Before I could even give that 'encouraging' smile, a spritely,elderly woman behind her, got in and started unpacking for her.It made my heart warm.

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    1. Aww that's sweet. Its nice to know there are still some well mannered people in the world :)

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  10. Oh wow. That is just so thoughtless of those men. I have been pleasantly surprised by people being thoughtful and kind around me lately. I don't catch public transport though lol

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    1. I'm glad you are getting some kindness from people at the moment, a little goes a long way. It really encourages people to pass on the kindness too!

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  11. The other day a very lovely young man came to my aid when I had to get the pram down the stairs because a lift was out of order. He didn't hesitate to ask and was so polite. I think there is still a lot of goodness out there.

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    1. That is something my husband would do. He regular helps people with their prams or trolleys.

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  12. People are definitely getting ruder and have less consideration for others. I always go out of my to make others lives easier and it can often be as simple as offering a chair, holding a door open or picking up a child's toy when their mother has her hands full.

    A little effort goes a long way!

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    1. It sure does :) Lets hope people start paying it forward more often.

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  13. People can be quiet inconsiderate. However when I was pregnant (and living in Concord West) but found that in Glebe, Camperdown, Ultimo, Central, etc people always got up. Be it on the train or the bus.

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    1. that's great! I was pregnant in Canberra and people definitely weren't that kind :(

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  14. Oh I so agree. Common courtesy appears to be a thing of the past. I can't believe how many shop assistants barely acknowledge you when you're purchasing something.. And they're PAID to. Pet peeve of mine. It is so easy to be nice and friendly and helpful and yet sooooo many people just aren't.

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    1. Yes, so true. Sometimes you stand at the counter for ages before a shop assistance even notice! grrrhhh...

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  15. Public transport is the absolute worst for common courtesy - it's a jungle out there!

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    1. I hate public transport for a reason!

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  16. I think it's just the way of the world unfortunately. It seems in many days gone by the importance of raising our children with manners and courtesy and to think of others was considered important. Today not so. Many people can't or are just unable to spend quality time as families due to busier and busier lifestyles and I think as a result of this, some basic fundamentals aren't being taught to our kids. This equates to rude adults later in life.

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    1. So sad isn't it :( Something I definitely want to teach my daughter is courtesy and manners! I know we're all business but its just important to teach social skills as it is academic ones, I believe at least.

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  17. Oh Lu, how painful for you! Common courtesy is such a simple thing.

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    1. It is so simple isn't it! A little goes a long way!

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  18. Where are the parents of these people? Courtesy is taught....I have 5 children and one of the best things someone said to me is how respectful and helpful they always are....I work in a school and see this everyday from the children on up to their parents. I have to remind them to say please and thank you.....

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  19. I'm saddened about the lack of respect in general people hold for one another. Some people in the world get it but there are a whole heap of asses out there.

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  20. No, you're definitely not the only one annoyed. People have no common courtesy these days. And they're teaching their kinds to be the same way. Almost every day that I work, I have to tell kids to not use the electric shopping carts that are for the elderly and disabled customers. They want to race them around the store and their parents will let them. Ugh!

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  21. Yes! Yes!! Yes!!!
    There is a growing arrogance lately. It's spreading like an out of control disease.
    All we can really do to combat this is teach our children to do the right thing and hope it catches on.
    The random acts of kindness I receive every day from strangers tells me there is still plenty to be proud of in this world.

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